In short here is why self-love is marketing:
- You can’t put yourself out there unless you are confident about yourself and what you provide the public
- You can create every system known to man to increase your reach, profit, list, but if you don’t FEEL you DESERVE it, YOU WILL NEVER GET IT.
- You will learn exactly what self-love is and is not.
- You will learn 2 techniques to help create healthy self-love.
This week I’ve surprised even myself. I’ve managed to combine the woo-woo with the practical.
While watching an Instagram story posted by a young business owner teaching her audience about a tantric technique for de-stressing and clearing negative energy – she gave a surprising lesson about how self-love is crucial for delivering authentic content.
Neither the technique she was demonstrating, nor the video, were meant to be titillating, but it could easily be perceived that way.
Her story then went on to describe how nervous she felt posting such videos. That it leaves her open to loads of criticism and that she has to have heaps of self-love in order to put herself out there in this manner.
Many of you might think, “Well then don’t post Instagram stories about tantric techniques!” Seems pretty obvious, but that’s exactly what content marketing is all about.
Content marketing is about providing authentic information about yourself, your business, your service, and your expertise, to your audience (no matter if your audience is potential customers, coworkers or employers).
She is a tantric coach, what else is she supposed to post about, puppies? That’s not going to convert her viewers into paying customers.
Whether you are selling new kitchens, a coaching program or simply trying to get a raise, you have to share what makes you special.
You have to let people know why you are a valuable asset, the right person for whatever goal you are trying to reach.
This takes self-love. It takes self-love to put you in a position to stand apart and above the crowd.
It takes a belief that what you have to offer is the best. Why? Because you will have to defend this position in many different ways over and over again before you reach your goal.
Can you do that if you don’t love yourself? Sure. But it will be much harder because you will constantly be sabotaging your own efforts.
You may win the very thing you are working for, but you won’t be able to hold onto it. Or you could take every marketing course, write a thousand blogs, and still you won’t succeed.
Every time you step out of your comfort zone you will hear that voice inside your head that tells you “You are gonna screw it up. You can’t handle it. They are going to laugh at you. You are going to loose all your money. She’ll stop loving you. He’ll say no. You’ll get fired. You. Will. Fail.”
BUT if you love yourself (and I’m not talking about machismo/bravado/ego confidence here) you can face and overcome every one of those criticisms.
Do you know what self-love is?
I talk about it all the time, but do you even understand what real self-love feels like?
First and foremost self-love is the exact opposite of selfish.
Selfish is ego based. It’s being cocky. It’s thinking you have all the answers. It’s denying anyone else’s suggestions (no matter how good they are) because they didn’t come from you.
Selfish is conceit. It’s narcissism. It’s usually born from deep-rooted self-loathing and insecurity (although a selfish person would never recognize that fact because it’s so deep they can’t even see it). At its root it’s fear based.
Self-love is by its very nature rooted in love. Think of something you love: a child, a spouse, a pet, a parent, a relative, or a friend. Right now think of something that gives you the most joy and comfort you can – it can be a vacation, a past romance, the beach, the mountains, a camp counselor, a teacher.
Swim in those good feelings. Take a few breaths and make this moment in time seep into every cell. This feeling? This is how we are supposed to feel about ourselves. That is real self-love.
Self-love ebbs and flows.
It’s not something we achieve and then that’s it. We have to cultivate it. Nourish it. Tend it like a campfire. Some days it’s going to be impossible to muster up even a shred of self-love.
That’s OK. It’s OK to not love yourself all the time. In fact I would say it’s impossible. It’s inhuman. That’s why I’m always going on about it.
It’s not one and done. It’s the journey of a lifetime. As many ways as the inner critic will find to haunt you – your own heart will find ways to comfort you and lift you up.
I have as many dark days as I do light. My own journey is littered with regret, fear, self-doubt, crippling self-criticism, hate and sadness.
When I get to those points and can’t spark the light within my own heart – I seek tinder elsewhere. I enjoy a teaching from one of the healers I follow. I play with my son or husband. I practice emotionally creative exercises (sentence completion, written dialogues with my inner children, Intuitive Coloring), I go out in nature, I go for a drive, I listen to comedy podcasts, I get together with friends and ask them to tell me how awesome I am because I can’t do it myself, I make love, I breathe, I meditate….
Here are 2 techniques to shift into love.
1.) Place your hands over your heart
2.) Close your eyes
3.) Repeat the words I Love You to yourself.
Say the words to yourself as if you are talking to a small child – like under 5 years old. Say them out loud or in your head. Cry, laugh, or even feel angry. It’s all OK. Eventually you will feel better.
Here’s the second:
Start from A and work your way to Z and think of something you are grateful for that corresponds with each letter. I’ll start:
A=Apples (mmm gala, Fuji, pink lady, honey crisp)
E=Elephants esp. baby ones
When you put yourself in the mindset of gratitude, the emotions of fear, anger, criticism, etc., cannot exist. One cannot feel grateful and sad at the exact same time. Sure you can feel grateful and then a second later be sad, but you can’t be them both at the same time.
If you have tried everything and are still no further along than you were before you tried everything, maybe you need to take a look at how you feel about yourself, and what you think you deserve.
Maybe the first step on any marketing plan should be “Generate self-love.” Then from that space, create the marketing you’ll use to reach your goal.